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25 Jun 2006, 11:28 pm / Sore
First time I ever played paintball was the winter of 2003, I was hyped up and ready to play, but nervous as crap cause they handed me a Triad cheapy walmart special, but all around good gun for a beginner. Til I saw their guns..autococker, spyder extra, and a spyder limited edition. then i was like crap..im gunna be sore.  So we go out behind where Lowe's is being built down in the woods outta site from the locals and have a foxhole scenario or where you have four guys split into two teams one takes the top of the hill and bunkers down and waits and the other team makes their way up the hill to take out the waiting opposing side..first round im bunkered..they have me pinned down im on my belly in the leaves lookin through a hole under a log and one dude lobs one over hits me in the back of my neck and the other shoots through the hole im lookin through and nails me right in face mask twice  we play 3 hits and your dead or if your shot in the goggles and cant see your dead. my team mate manages to take out one of the other team and then gets taken out..so we reload and start over this time we switch sides..i dunno if you would want to meet me in the woods or not but most pplz think im bigfoot at first then they see the gun and run screamin "BIGFOOT'S GOTTA GUN!!"  cuz im like 6' 9" tall so when pplz see a tree take two steps to the right they know its me in my camo. anyhow im leap froggin with my team mate up the hill towards the bunker..only to realize when we got to the bunker the other team had set an ambush to initiate me to the paintball lifestyle..they come up from behind us layin down fire i was firing back and so was my team mate and we all were pink, yellow, green, and eventually black and blue
so after a rest period and a quick check to make sure our future children were still intact, we loaded up and went back out for a couple rounds of night ball..you dont really rely on sight at night, you rely on sound and the moonlight to see if possible..i hid in the shadows of the trees and waited my team mate hid between two logs leaning against a tree in the shadows and we waited for the other team, we heard them walk right between us in the shadows then they started firing into the darkness at random trees tryin to scare us into firing so theyd know where we were hiding, didnt work..we waited and they made their way back and when they were past us again we came out and opened fire on them..took them by surprise they lost without gettin a single shot off in defense. the next round we decided to play in the open in the pasture, which was confusing, my team mate went to track one of the other team, left me to track the other one..uno problemo..i wear glasses and at the time they were too big to wear in the mask so i wuz playing literally blind the whole time and in the dark was just like playin durin the day with a blind fold on or with muddy water in your eyes..so i take two steps hear firing a head of me and hear them balls screamin past my head i think i heard one scream "HEADS UP COMIN THROUGH!!" thats when i jus hit the ground and waited, it wuz colder then escimo turds out there in that pasture, before i knew it a team member who i thought was mine came runnin up outta the dark and shot me bout 9 times up my back ..ever had a paintball enema?.. cuz i still think theres one lodged up in there from that attack shoot dang i could hear my future kids yellin at me "HEY RETARD NEXT TIME WEAR A CUP!!" we ended in a tie that time turns out my team mate found they guy he was trackin and took him out and the last two standing ran outta air so they decided to throw paintballs at each other before declaring it a tie and going home.
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